


Chocolate Dream

by daltonandes



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: AU, Dark, Depression, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daltonandes/pseuds/daltonandes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship wasn't one out of the storybooks. It was work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Dream

Their relationship definitely wasn't one out of storybooks.  
No, it was work - sweat, blood, tears. A lot of tears. But Adam wasn't sure who was more emotional anymore.  
They weren't supposed to be together. There was a lot of pain.

For Adam, the nightmares never stopped. The flashbacks were brought out of nowhere. When he wakes up, sweating and panting in bed, he wakes up Lawrence too, who calms him down for the next hour, telling him it will be okay. 

For Lawrence, it's not easy missing a limb. And it's not easy barely seeing his daughter anymore. And it's definitely not easy living with Adam.  
Adam's a mess. He smokes way too much. He's changed therapists 4 times. He lashes out. He breaks down crying. Poor thing- he's almost a lifeless shell.

But Lawrence wouldn't trade him for the world.

 

Adam is diagnosed eventually.  
They say it's PTSD and depression. Lawrence knows it's true. Adam doesn't want to hear it.

 

They're stuck together, unlucky in love, till death do them part. But that doesn't mean it's a smooth-sailing road.

They fight. A lot. Sometimes Adam throws things. Oh God, he gets angry. Lawrence is the cooler one, the one who soothes Adam before he chucks that frying pan, or whatever is in his hand, at his head. 

Sometimes it works.

"God, he's so emotional," Lawrence always thinks to himself.

"God, he's so heartless," Adam always thinks.

I love him, they both think.

 

When Adam's angry, sex is fantastic.  
And when he's sad or pissy, it's slow and more "I've got you, Adam" than anything else.  
Adam's moans are different with his mood. They can be frequent and loud, or soft and breathy.  
All Adam knows is that he needs sex in his life. Sex with the one he loves.

 

When Adam does eat, it's everything.  
One night, Lawrence wakes up to the light on in the hallway at 1 am. He gets up and finds Adam in the bathtub surrounded by boxes of cereal, and he's just - sitting there in the bubbles, eating and listening to Morrissey.  
Lawrence really fucking loves him, and he falls in love again.

 

They shower together sometimes. It's not an annual thing. Adam lets Lawrence wash his hair, because most of the time, it needs a good wash.  
They let music play softly in the background, let the shower walls steam up all white and pale blue. Sometimes Lawrence sneaks a kiss on the back of Adam's neck when he's washing his hair.  
Adam then turns around and kisses him with all the force he can - and whispers "I love you" .

 

They haven't exactly been on a proper date. They don't really want that, per se. Fuck that. But one night, they do go out. It's not too fancy, and Adam eats a lot, which makes Lawrence happy to see.  
Adam's eyes sparkle under the lights, and he's beautiful.

 

The fights are usually horrible.  
They're caused by basically nothing every time - Adam's over-sensitivity, or his whining, or both. Sometimes it's Lawrence's stubborness or apathy.

One day, Adam threatens to leave after they have a huge fight that leaves both of them upset and shaking. Lawrence tells him to go then, and asks where is he gonna go anyway?  
Fuck. That really stings.  
Adam doesn't leave. He just curls up and stays there, apologizing until Lawrence lets it go and comes over to comfort him.

 

They can't agree on anything.  
Not even ice cream flavors, for fuck's sake. Going grocery shopping with Adam is hell.

He always wants Chocolate Dream ice cream, it's always Chocolate Dream ice cream, while Lawrence would rather get a healthy frozen yogurt.  
"Health nut," Adam would comment.

Lawrence actually does care about his health, though, which is sad because Adam probably doesn't.  
He buys both kinds. Just to make him happy.

 

Adam eats half a tub of ice cream in the bathtub one night, and it's a miracle he's barely gained much weight, with the way he eats. This time he's blasting Misfits and smoking half a pack of Malboro Reds.

This has unhealthy written all over it.

"What are you doing?" Lawrence asks him, standing there in his matching blue pajamas like a square.

"Wallowing," Adam answers.

"You're gonna have cancer by the time you're 50."

"Boo-fucking-hoo."

Lawrence knows Adam does what he does to feel alive. But healthier habits would be better for him.  
He takes another look at Adam scooping the bottom of the ice cream carton, and decides to leave him be. He loves him too much.

They've still got a long way to go. But somehow, maybe, love will find a way


End file.
